How do you keep functioning?

Unfortunately, things just keep getting worse. I’m sure many of you can relate. I trusted my WP when he said the affair was over and he wasn’t in contact with AP anymore. And then two days ago I found emails showing he is talking to her, and had booked flights to go see her. How fucking stupid of me to trust him, when he already betrayed my trust so fully.

We were trying to work through the betrayal and reconcile. Now that is up in the air. He is not sure if he wants me, and I am so hurt I am not sure if I should stay. Our 12 year anniversary is this weekend. He has been my person for half of my life. I can’t imagine life without him, but I also don’t know how I can heal from this. We have been trying for years for kids, including years of IVF. But I just turned 40. I know the odds are already stacked against me, so it also feels like I’m not only losing him, but losing this last chance to be a parent.

Meanwhile, life just keeps on going. I am fortunate to have a good job, and have been taking sick days here and there, but work just piles up. I have a pretty person-facing job, so I have to constantly put on a happy face and act like everything is fine, which is exhausting. I feel like I barely have the capacity to fold laundry right now, much less be a functioning employee.

How did you all manage to keep going through the day-to-day motions? Did you share what has happening with your boss at all? Go on medical leave? Just power through?

4 comments posted: Friday, August 28th, 2026

Can’t stop thinking about it

Hi everyone. I am almost 3 months post D-Day. Before the affair happened, and while it was happening, we were already in couples therapy. My husband really bottled up a LOT of feelings and resentment for years, so when it came out all of a sudden it has been wave after wave of pain and surprise for me, on top of the affair.

Needless to say I am not doing great. I just started on antidepressants this week, so I am hoping that helps. But right now, I feel so overwhelmed. I cry all the time. This is all I can think about. We are doing couples therapy once a week, and I am doing individual therapy every other week, and group every other week. Lots of therapy! Even with that, I feel an almost obsessive need to think and analyze my feelings. I have read probably 15 books in the past three months about betrayal, relationships, and trauma. And still it feels like not enough. I recently have started talking with AI (Claude), just to have someone to talk with, and it helps but also makes me feel like I am developing AI psychosis haha.

Any other betrayed folks go through this? How did you get through it?

16 comments posted: Friday, August 21st, 2026