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Newest Member: Womanmarine

General :
So I Started Therapy

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 Pogre (original poster member #86173) posted at 5:16 PM on Wednesday, August 27th, 2025

I've had 2 thirty minute sessions now, and I'm realizing that 30 minutes is a very short piece of time to try and work through something like this. Our insurance covers 8 sessions per rolling year. I'm not really sure what I'm going to get from 8 thirty minute sessions.

A couple of notes about my counselor, he seems like a great guy, but I don't know, and I keep forgetting to ask, if he even specializes in trauma therapy. When I filled out the intake paperwork I did request that. He works mostly with younger people, and doesn't do EMDR therapy, which I asked about right off the bat.

He's very understanding, and when I brought up that we had some troubles in our marriage he was very quick to tell me not to blame myself, so he scored some points with me right off the bat with that there. I wasnt trying to take any blame, but in the interest of transparency and honesty I felt it important to put that out there.

He's given me some mental exercises to help with the mental images and mind movies, and it's hit or miss on efficacy. He also told me to write it out. My feelings about it, etc. Not knowing I've already been writing about it a lot between here and other sites. That has helped, btw, thank you all for being here for me and others in my shoes. This place has been invaluable in helping me cope with it all.

I just... I dunno. I'm not sure how productive these sessions are going to be. I feel like after 2 of them we've barely scratched the surface. I'd already been diagnosed with major depression and ptsd before I discovered the A. I feel like I probably need at least a year's worth of therapy to work on other issues as well, but obviously this immediate situation is what I want to focus on. We don't have a lot of money to pay for extended therapy. I know these things can't really be rushed, but is there some way for me to maximize the remaining 6 thirty minute sessions I have left?

Where am I going... and why am I in this handbasket?

posts: 119   ·   registered: May. 18th, 2025   ·   location: Arizona
id 8875776
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WB1340 ( member #85086) posted at 7:44 PM on Wednesday, August 27th, 2025

Not nearly enough time. For me an hour long session was too short. The key to therapy is consistency. I was doing an hour long session twice a month when I was doing IC 4 years ago.

When my wife and I started MC we were doing hour long sessions once a week. Eventually that switched to bi-weekly

D-day April 4th 2024. WW was sexting with a married male coworker. Started R a week later, still ongoing...

posts: 211   ·   registered: Aug. 16th, 2024
id 8875780
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sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 8:38 PM on Wednesday, August 27th, 2025

Your insurance isn't very generous or cost effective. Your company's benefits people need some education. Even if it's a small company, they might consider pooling the money they spend on pscho- and physical therapy, adding it to your salary/wages, and letting you spend it as you wish.

D is very expensive, so measure the cost of therapy against that. It might be wise to pay for private therapy. Perhaps your company has the program that pays for medical stuff with before-tax money.

In any case, 8 half-hour sessions can give you new coping tactics. If you like the guy and if he's helping, maybe he can take you on as a private patient.

fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex apDDay - 12/22/2010Recover'd and R'edYou don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.

posts: 31267   ·   registered: Feb. 18th, 2011   ·   location: Illinois
id 8875783
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