It's been nearly 2 years since DDay. My WS and I have been through a ton of individual therapy and couples therapy. Our marriage looks completely different than it ever has before. We're different people and we're happy.
It felt like that chapter of our lives was finally closing. My conditions to try again were all fulfilled. He left his job early on (AP was coworker), worked on himself and our relationship, and recently traded in his vehicle (used during the affair).
We've been talking about possibly moving, working on shared goals, and are finally a team.
My triggers, intrusive thoughts, and ruminations have gone down tremendously. Anytime they arise, my spouse is quickly there to support through.
The AP must have sensed it. She began reaching out this morning. She sent one message per hour as he would not respond. She starting with a greeting > then telling him that she never stopped thinking about him > then she didn't want anything but a distraction > then asking why he didn't want to speak to her.
My WS followed our plan to not respond alone and be transparent as soon as we were together in person.
The question now is how to respond. Do we leave no response and simply block her? Does he need to be bluntly clear again that he doesn't want to be involved? Should the response come from me (I've never confronted her)? I also wonder if her partner knows anything about the affair.
My WS has also been paranoid that she has passed by our house to see his vehicle gone and that may have been the trigger to reach out.
No matter the why, how do you deal with someone like this?
